Thursday

When the alarm goes off at 5.10 I have no idea where I am or who I am - but its time to load the car. Once we’re nearly ready I wake Imogen, who jumps out of bed saying “Finally, I’ve been waiting all night!” - Felix was less pleased to be woken.

We flew up the A1 only hindered by Lorries playing the overtaking game. The one where they swing out into the fast lane and then try to overtake the Lorry in front as slowly as possible. We get to the grandparents, help set up a Halloween party and I have a beer. Grandma Julie has been looking forward to Halloween and made it really special for the kids - thank you Grandma!

The family come round for the party. I’ve noticed Julia is taking on a role of being strong when friends / family cry. This warms me as it is a sign of Julia’s inner strength and character that I’m so in love with. There’s lots of “I’m not dead you know”.

Uncle Callums pumpkins are amazing, people even had their photo taken with them when trick or treating us. Imogen & Felix loved trick or treating. After a nervous start Felix really got into it, I think he would have happily knocked on every door in Cullercoats.

Friday

In the morning Grandma Julie, the kids and I walked Uncle Regans and Grandma Lindas dogs - that sounds way more complicated that it was. Apart from missing a massive sign saying park closed - we enjoyed the walk in the park, funnily enough it was nice and quiet. Julia stayed home and slept.

In the afternoon we head to see Grandma Ursula. When talking in the car, we tell Imogen to help with the “I’m not dead” line and she practices. Felix reacts to it, he was in a mood anyhow but grunts when she says it. Its becoming obvious that he will need some help to communicate his feelings - he’s very young and it is impacting him more than we initially thought. We’ll have to work on being extra understanding with Felix.

Julia sleeps a lot today, the fatigue worries me but its also a way for her to charge batteries and prepare for the future.

In the evening we have an epic roast and beers.

Saturday

Off into town to see Newcastle play Chelsea! Granddad Mikie and myself get to go to the match whilst the other (better?) halves and kids go shopping. We got the best deal! Before the match we all head into Krispy Kremes for doughnuts and coffee. Group wide chronic indecision about what people want to order hits, its too painful I had to escape and take Felix to the loo. There is such a thing as too much choice!

The match was awesome, the first half pretty dull and the crowd was nervous. But it the second half Newcastle were attacking the Gallowgate End and the crowd lifted the team and practically willed the ball into the back of the next. I jumped and cheered like a loon when the first goal went in. We went expecting defeat and came out winners - a brilliant way to spend an afternoon!

After the match we swung by Regan & Lornas new house, not sure I could have taken on such a massive project but they’ll get a home exactly as they want it. The house has been gutted and there’s still a mountain of work to do but from now on it’ll come together and its going to look fantastic once done. Looking forward to seeing it done!

Sunday

We pop by Julia’s brothers before heading home. The drive is long and moods are low when we get home. Imogen and Felix got bored in the car and fought over the no mans land of the middle seat. No one helps get anything in from the car and I get grumpy. That evening Felix is extremely rude again to mummy. I’m really not happy with about it and react. Once tempers have cooled and we’ve discussed the whys and how we should have dwelt with it, we hug and Felix and I become friends again. I think the nerves about tomorrows operation and cancer in general are leaking out and we must come closer as a family to get through it and remember we are a team.