I'm frightened

Feb 17, 2014

I've spent so long trying to be strong and positive, I've surprised myself a little bit today by giving in to The Fear.

The Fear that I’ll not beat this Cancer.

The Fear that if I beat it this time around that it’ll come back, and I won’t be able to fight it a second time around.

The Fear that I could die and not watch my bairns grow up into the fantastic people I know they will.

The Fear of leaving Ross to handle things without me.

I’ve spent today in bed again today, too exhausted to do much except watch tv and read and I don’t doubt that The Fear is related to this exhaustion. There’s been lots of tears.