It was good to catch up and as it was just us, we went at my pace - most would hardly call it a run!! We plodded round Ivel springs and up to Radwell meadows, good stuff and I’m determined to get fit - to both keep sane by working out frustrations and to build the strength and stamina I will need in the coming months.

After breaky, it’s over to the swimming pool for the kids lessons. I was pleased there were less people in the swimming lane and I could charge up and down the pool. Felix swam his first ever length of backstroke, I was egging him on from the otherside of the lane rope (I don’t think he noticed).

Later in the day, I walk into a room and Julia says “I could die” and bursts into tears, I hug her tight and cry. It’s not been said so far and it needed airing as hard and hopefully unlikely it is. We talk and try and try to regain a proper perspective.

After a great tea (go Lidl ingredients!) I call my dad. It is his birthday and I had forgotten. I apologise profusely and I’m angry at myself, I could have sworn it was not until the 29th. I’m rubbish. The kids sing happy birthday and I hope that made up for it in some part.

I find it hard to sleep and feel very low, probably despair or some other dark mood - I’m not use to those feelings and they seem so alien to me and my personality. I’m ill equiped to cope but a quick sob and hugs from Julia sort me right out.