I was supposed to be working today. And I did, to an extent. But I was very distracted.

Ross and I got to the hospital 15 minutes early and got in to see the doctor at just after 5. I saw the main man. That made me worry. And justifiably so as it turns out.

I have breast cancer. I have it in more than one place. The saving grace is that it’s only in one of my boobs.

This is not the news I wanted.

So, in the next couple of weeks I need a CT scan to see if its spread anywhere else. I’ll see the consultant in two weeks to discuss the results and that dictates the big decisions. I also need a small operation to see if there’s any cancer in the lymph nodes. That’s on the 14th November.

After that its chemotherapy and a mastectomy. I lose a boob and my hair. I also have a course of herceptin, similar to chemo but more expensive and less side effects. I started on tamoxifen today also which is supposed to stop the cancer in its tracks.

So that’s the facts.

I’ve told Dad, Julie, Callum, Regan and Max. I’ve made them promise hugs. A couple of close friends also know as they’ve been helping me through the wait for results.

The next task is to tell the bairns. This isn’t going to be pleasant. But Ross and I have a plan and we are going to do it together. Once the kids know, it’ll become public knowledge.

I’m so angry right now. And being quite petulant with the “why me!” Attitude. And tearful. Meh.

But we are where we are. There’s a journey to go on. There’s a few way points, but we don’t know the route yet. It’s going to be tough, but the troops have been mobilised and its going to be ok. I’ve got a Race For Life to do in July, and I will do it. Even if I have to walk…and I’ve never walked one! Jx