Julia's Challenge

Oct 25, 2013

Woke at 6:15am after some trippy dreams. Out of nowhere I was feeling so down as if the emotions of the last few days had still been building to boiling point in my sleep. I was sobbing and couldn't stop.

I hugged Julia tight and my sobs woke her. Not the nicest way to start the day for her and I feel guilty for doing it. It’s as if my emotions have betrayed me somehow. We talk and I feel better - it seems crying really works.

Seems we forgot to set Felix’s alarm last night, Julia set me a challenge to set Felix’s alarm on without waking him. (I still haven’t got round to WD40’ing the door hinges upstairs, they’re straight out of a noir horror film - almost comically so). I creep in set it and retreat. Julia tells me the “on” setting is up. Bugger, I’d just turned it off. I creep in again, set the alarm and Felix rolls over, snores loudly (atta boy) and then wakes… oops.

The kids wake, we get hugs from the kids and get them to school. I’m apprehensive, as ours friends know but we’ve yet to see them. It’s as if seeing them makes it more real. Stupid really, seeing them give Julia hugs and talking about it is enormously reassuring. There were tears and disbelief but I see it brightens Julia - we are lucky to have such great friends.

Julia has messages to do this morning, so I’m back home having a coffee and on the laptop. I buy our old domain back and hunt for a blog engine, Jekyll wins as it’s easiest and has themes. We get the blog up and I grab Julia’s diary entries and throw it on the web (o hai!).

I tell work and friends on twitter, the support messages are great. Cancer isn’t a rarity, many stories of how it touched peoples lives have come out and in a strange way it’s good to hear.

I think I’ll have a beer tonight and look forward to the firework display tomorrow. Next week it’s half term and time to chill with the kids and see family.

R x