My GP had referred me on to the Community Palliative Care Specialists in order that we could tap into the information and services they have available to them. Being under a Palliative Care team feels like a double edge sword. On one side it’s great, they can give me pointers in what we need to do in terms of getting me out and about more by applying for a Blue Badge and also the short term hire of a wheelchair. The other side to the sword is that whichever way I look at it, I have a Terminal Illness, Stage 4 cancer, and there is nothing anyone can do for that. All we can do is manage the Cancer. I will never be free from it, and I will always be living under the shadow or it. (Even at this point now, I’m still waiting for someone to tell me there’s been a terrible mistake, and it’s a slipped disk.)

I have to say that, Julia, the Palliative Care nurse was brilliant. She was empathetic, and a great listener. She gave us a hope that the pain I’m in will be short-term but the Cyberknife treatment can take 3-4 weeks to actually work. She reviewed my current medication list, made some minor adjustments and gave us another prescription. As I say, she’s a very knowledgeable person, another good one to have on my side.

The best thing she said to me was, and the thing I came away feeling most positive about was when she said:

“You are living with Cancer, not dying from Cancer”.

Race for Life

The Race For Life has been an event that I have enjoyed participating in for years now. I’ve done it 8 or 9 times, including last years Pretty Muddy spectacular. It’s got a great atmosphere and people are very generous with their donations, it’s a good cause after all.

The past two Race’s have happened around the time of Ross’s birthday, and have rather eclipsed it somewhat. We had thought that this year we would miss the Race, or do a different one and concentrate on Ross and his birthday.

When we told Imy and Felix that my Cancer had come back, Imy immediately asked if she could do the Race again. Felix was in agreement, and Ross selflessly agreed with the kids that doing the Race was an important, positive thing for them to do. I don’t know what state I’ll be in in July, I many be fully mobile, I may be in a wheelchair, I don’t know, so I said I’d make a call nearer the time. Luckily, members of The Gin Club had already signed up for the Race and Imy and Felix joined their team, and then they helped set up their Just Giving Page If you feel inclined to sponsor them, please follow the link.

Jx