I hate the wait, I like to be proactive, so today the results are in and I want to know what we are facing. I want it to be good news and I want to get started. It didn’t work out as planned but we are another step on this journey.

Today has had highlights, its not all maudlin and dolldrums for Julia and myself. We’ve both been working from the kitchen table and that’s nice. We’ve got lots done and get insights about each others working day. YouTube yielded some great retro soul and old skool hip hop tunes, and we chair dance too. We also took Merlin for a walk around the garden in his kitten harness during one coffee break.

Soon its time to go and we head off to the hospital. I have my questions and we’ll get answers. We get there and we wait, standard hospital stuff. I’m nervous as hell, so god knows how Julia felt as we waited. We get called in to the Consultant and there’s no messing. It’s spread. Shit. But as soon as that’s said there’s good news too. He took 3 nodes and 2 looked “wrong”, so he sent them off and then took a further 5 and sent them off seperately. No wonder she’s been in pain. The maximum they told us they’d take out was 5. The two that looked wrong had cancer but all the others were clear. Thank f*ck.

I don’t think it changed much in terms of the treatment but we learnt more about timelines and the future. Chemo will start soon, we are seeing the clinical onthologist tomorrow, so we’ll learn more about that. One thing I’ve realised is it will probably take time, there’s probably more to it than just getting an appointment and rocking up.

Anyway, thats the next path we’ll go down, its time to go give Julia another hug. Lord knows she needs them. Lots of them. And I can do that.